Am I losing my confidence?

Looking back and reflecting, somehow I feel that I am losing a lot of my confidence. I used to be really steady when it comes to presentations, tests and projections. I realized that nowadays, I tend to panic and sometimes I speak with a stutter. Why? Is it the pressure of school so that I can get to crossover to the degree program? Seeing the datelines and test dates on my navigation column, you can imagine the amount of work I have.

I also don't feel as confident when driving. As the saying goes, once bitten, twice shy. It's going to be my third test in a few days time. Would I have to continue the saying by, once bitten, twice shy, three times, sure die? I hope not. I will still put in my best effort and not make stupid errors and hope for the best. However, those people around me who have driving licence are telling me to do this or not to do that and it's adding to my stress. I don't feel so confident in things that I feel or think that I've been doing correctly anymore as too many people are telling me otherwise. I don't know. Why do I want the licence? Does it really mean that much to me? Or am I just going with the flow? Driving class tomorrow. I hope it goes well so that maybe I'll regain back my confidence. Maybe I should just listen to 2 people. My instructor and laogong.

Emailed my lecturer a few days ago telling her that I won't be going for my class on thursday. However, in my explanation, I typed wrongly! I said that I am going for my driving class instead of driving test and her reply was rather fierce. I replied apologising saying that it was a typo error and I meant test. But still, I feel so guilty, as if I have been blacklisted by her as not knowing what my priorities are. Hope she understands. Why am I so blur? Sigh. Another thing blur today, I was eating cheese hotdog on a satay stick and I poked my lip with the satay stick while trying to eating the hotdog and my lip bled a little. Blur right? But then again, I bang myself up pretty often such as hitting the wall on my knee, kicking the chair and things like that. Not purpose, it just happens. Not a single day goes by without me hitting anything or getting injured.

On a lighter note, I went shopping again. Like what Wesley told me when he read my blog, it is full of eating and shopping. Quite true. Went bugis shopping, my favourite place. Was supposed to go to the expo for the book fair, food fair and john little sale, but since laogong didn't take the car today, I felt a little lazy to travel all the way there. So I ended up buying quite a few things today. A pencil case, a shirt, a bag and some tidbits. Had seoul garden for dinner, in which, I got my hand a little scalded cos of the "popping" oil. Gotta work off all those fats, maybe will go jogging today. Yeah surprised? So am I. I surprised myself too, by even thinking of going jogging, an exercise I totally hate. Hmmm, but since I didn't eat lunch today, I guess it ain't that bad right? Haha. Excuses, I know. Will have to exercise!

Posted the pictures up of what I bought. Total damage on wallet today: $70 approx.

Pencil case, pink color, cost $5.90


Shirt, red strips, beige base, cost $16


Bag, beige/brown, cost $23 (Bought by laogong)


I wanted to get the white colour bag but then white is a hard colour to maintain and I don't want to dirty it and so I got the beige-brown bag. It's nice too, though I felt that the price can still be reduced. But like what laogong said, the guy that sold us the bag is rather new on the job, his 2nd day only, a little blur still, but had good service attitude so we didn't mind paying the extra few dollars. Laogong says that guy is cute. *gasp gasp*

Time for a little bitching today. Have you ever been in a bus or a train and someone is playing music out from their mobile phone through the loudspeaker? It's ok if the song is from the genre that you are listening to. But what if it is some song that you hate? Or worse, that person just plays 1 song? Every Sunday, on my way to work in the bus, there will be this guy, in Sheng Shiong uniform who will be playing just 1 song on his mobile phone, and volume put to the max. I tell you it is irritating because it is so loud that I cannot even hear my own music from my mp3 player. I had to turn the volume up 5 notches before I could hear my own music. Inconsiderate fella.